So it is in that spirit that I offer my Orange County Register column this week: Suggestions to improve some Disneyland attractions.
In it, I offer a "wish list" of improvements on current attractions at Anaheim's Disneyland. In each case, I point to an comparable attraction — from another park or Disneyland's past — that offers a better model that what Disneyland now offers. (While cracking a few jokes along the way, of course.) And next week, I will offer a similar wish list for Disney California Adventure.
Here are the rides that I included on my Disneyland upgrade wish list:
What's your wish list for your favorite theme park? Which rides or shows there would you like to see upgraded to a better example from another park?
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Pirates of the Carribean (but only the ride itself, not the queue line.)
Space Mountain
Buzz Lightyear
Winnie The Pooh
Considering this post is only for Disneyland, I'd like to see the return of the People Mover of course, but make it near impossible to jump out.
Make Autopia electric powered or anything other than gas powered, and simulate the sounds of combustion engines if you really must. Gas powered cars aren't futuristic, so they're definitely not "tomorrow".
Indiana Jones needs the same actuators as the Tokyo version. I feel like the DLR one breaks down too often, and with an update, it could help. Plus why are they still using old tech if a split in the hydraulic hoses takes 2 hours to clean up? It's a matter of when it happens, not if it happens.
Robert was referring to Pooh's Honey Hunt at Tokyo Disneyland, which utilizes a trackless ride system. I think that would be a HUGE improvement for an attraction that doesn't get much attention at DL. Personally, I think Pooh at DL loses out more because of it's location at a dead end, but if it were worth more than standing in a 10 minute line, I think more people would venture to the end of the road for this attraction.
Autopia is a huge eyesore in DL. Not only that, it takes up a HUGE amount of space (@4x more than the subs). However, comparable attractions tend to be slow loaders (Joe Cool Driving School and Legoland Driving School) because of the way the attraction cycles. I'm sure Imagineers could come up with a way to create a continuous load process for this type of attraction. It wouldn't be too hard...Just have the ride system bring the car into the load platform after x number of minutes on the course so the ride never has to stop. I'm sure there's some hippie green energy firm in SoCal that would step up to the plate to sponsor a DL attraction with electric cars - Oh that's right, even the vaunted Elon Musk takes government money to support their business, so they don't have any extra lying around for this type of sponsorship. Maybe Exxon-Mobile will help out.
Also, Disney World's version of Small World is rather horrible. It has the lowest doll count of any ride. You can see how much space is wasted. They can easily double up the amount of dolls and it still isn't enough.
Great to know that Exxon-Mobile can sponsor rides and does not take government money. Oh wait a second they take hundreds of millions. http://www.motherjones.com/politics/2014/04/oil-subsidies-renewable-energy-tax-breaks
Continue the upgrade to Fantasyland dark rides along the lines of Alice in Wonderland. I am not as impressed by Peter Pan as I had been hoping for. How about doing the same thing to Snow White’s adventures and Pinocchio?
Quickly make any modifications needed to allow discounts to be given based on the virtual ticket that now lives on the official Disneyland App. I’d love to put my hard ticket away and use my phone only.
Upgrade the Wi-Fi service in the park. We can debate use of mobile devices in a place that is intended to bring people together all you want, but Wi-Fi has gone from being something that is nice to have to something that is expected. Business travelers in a recent poll show that they see quality Wi-Fi in a hotel room as being as important a utility as water and electricity. Get an official sponsor, or foot the bill yourself Mickey, but make it happen.
For rides not on the list, my biggest hope is that the Fantasyland dark rides are all given a similar upgrade to what was done with Alice in Wonderland. Supposedly the original plan was to do this for the 60th anniversary, but plans changed and I hope it is merely delayed instead of cancelled. Other than that, most of the things I'd like to see involve new attractions rather than simply upgrades.
Moving the Astro Orbitor up would look much better, but maybe they should just be removing everything that has to do with the People Mover. They haven't had an attraction on it for years and it seems like they aren't going to.
Hasn't Tomorrow land really had a cohesive theme problem since 1959? I mean the mermaid lagoon doesn't really fit into the world of Tomorrow. Nemo doesn't either, I guess 2,000 leagues sort of does, but it was the mermaid lagoon that people saw on the surface. How does the Matterhorn fit into the theme? I would like them to re-theme Autotopia to Sugar Rush and change the boundaries of Fantasyland to include it, the Matterhorn and the subs.
I think It's A Small World is fine. Changing the size of the area the boats float in seems really expensive for not that much payoff. I'd rather see them spend money somewhere else.
Having said that, here is my wish list of attractions I would like upgraded or fixed:
Calico Train Ride: While I think this is a fun attraction on a historic train with great interactions with the train "robbers," I feel like there's very little to see along the way. I've ridden the Disneyland Railroad enough times to want some nice scenery, like the Rivers of America or the peek-in at Splash Mountain. (Then again, with the limited space in the park and limited budget that Knott's has, I know this would never happen.)
Sierra Sidewinder: This is a fairly unique roller coaster, with circular cars that rotate 360 degrees on their axis as the roller coaster train goes around the track. But it is an eyesore in its current location in Camp Snoopy, with basically no theming and loud cars intruding into the atmosphere of Camp Snoopy. I read that originally the roller coaster was supposed to have some theming related to the Sierra Nevada mountains. If this could be enclosed into a fake mountain with an identical track to what it has now (is it too much to ask for a mini Matterhorn?), the whole Camp Snoopy area would be improved.
Silver Bullet: There are people who want to tear this roller coaster out, or at least move it so it doesn't tower over the park entrance and stunt show outdoor theater. I used to think this way, but the ride is VERY popular, and I think it would never be taken out or removed unless people stop wanting to ride it. The thing that bothers me is the lack of theming for the ride. The load station has some minimal theming, but why call the ride Silver Bullet (like a bullet from a gun used in the Old West), and then paint the roller coaster track orange and yellow, and the cars sky blue and orange? At least make the track black or silver, and use the opposite color for the trains.
I'm sure I can think of some more rides that I'd like to upgrade, but I'll stop for now.
I want new AAs for Jungle Cruise.
I want Expedition Everest's Yetti to be fixed.
I want the old Journey Into Imagination.
I want attractions to be put back in the old Wonders of Life pavilion and not have it be only for seasonal events.
I want the trackless Winnie the Pooh tech from Tokyo.
I want a longer POTC ride like in DL.
And I want self-driven, railess cars for Tomorrowland Speedway.
Tomorrowland - Maybe they should give up being forward looking like other people said. Replace Autopia, Submarine Voyage and Star Tours with Journey to the Center of the Earth and 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea from Tokyo DisneySea or reskin them with something more appropriate. Keep Astro Orbitors and Buzz for the little kids and Space Mountain reskinned.
Winnie the Pooh definitely needs the Tokyo Disney treatment. To dumb it down, it's basically Tokyo's version on top... and all the way down is everyone else's!
One thing I don't understand, why hasn't Disneyland attempted to add the "Frozen" attraction, similar to the one currently being built in Epcot? Frozen was a huge movie for Disney, why not add a ride to one of the parks. It would fit perfectly in California Adventure. They should also build a "Frozen Land," like the one being built in Tokyo Disney Sea. I know they are adding a show, but...a ride and land would be much more exciting!
Disneyland should look to add "Marvel" attractions as well. They could easily replicate the "Iron Man Experience," attraction being constructed in Hong Kong Disneyland. Marvel is very popular, especially with young children, why not add Marvel attractions to Disneyland? They could make Innoventions into some sort of Marvel ride.
For the queue line at Disney World? The queue line is irrelevant to the ride itself, which are identical. Yes, we all want Tokyo's version when we can't get them. Not even Hong Kong or Shanghai will get Tokyo's version.
I made clear the line is quite short at Disneyland so kids can get a ride without much hassle.
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Astro Orbitor and Autopia could be improved in a more elaborate Tomorrowland Makeover. Otherwise, it doesn't much matter.
The rides that should be actually improved upon is Indiana Jones Adventure for the special effects never really worked (skeleton, bug, snake, rats, and darts rooms) or in constant disrepair like the boulder effect. The Submarine ride for it is a long Nemo ride that is boring as heck. Looking at the underwater screens make my eyes crossed. The Jungle cruise is a similarly boring cruise with nothing interesting to see.